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Jul. 3rd, 2007 | 04:05 pm
posted by: whatimages in tomyrevelation

uh, hi! I'm afraid I don't know you guys very well, but I wrote something recently and well, might was well use the community, right?

I'm a big fan of spoken word stuff, and last night I wrote my first spoken-word poem. It's intended as a slam piece, ie to be read out loud in competition and not viewed on the page. So I recorded it, and now I'm posting it in the hope of getting some criticism. Anything you have to offer would be fantastic :). The file is on Box so you don't have to download it.

Eating Airplanes

Also, here is the text, for your critiquing pleasure:
I’ve been on this new diet, she says, like she’s proud of herself for eating only bananas, whole milk, and ‘electrolyte enhanced’ water for a month. If you ask me, in the contest for ‘eating stupid shit’, it’s a tie between that and that guy who ate a whole Cessna airplane. But I’m trying to be supportive, which in real-world terms means shutting the hell up, even if it means wiring my jaw shut against the diatribe and the reassurances that want to come bubbling out like the contents of a poorly-secured pressure cooker.

Not that it would do much good—trying to shake this time-honoured female obsession with food is like trying to move a boulder with a toothpick and eloquence. It’s not quite twisted enough to be called anorexia—there’s only enough self-loathing and deluded expectation to be qualified as normal.

I told her about this soup I had, avocado corn chowder, how the sweetness of the corn cut through the cream bursting golden on my tongue and peppercorns exploded in fireworks across my cheeks; how the sensory sections of my mouth lit up like a Christmas display, flashing obnoxious good cheer to the whole world. She looked at me and said “You ate a soup with cream in it?” and there’s actually wonder in her voice, like she’s come face to face with a real-life alien abductee. Hidden under that is the insidious silent question: How many hours did you have to spend at the gym after that? And I wish she would risk rudeness long enough to ask the question, so I could tell her: I didn’t. I didn’t go to the gym and I didn’t go out of my way to take the stairs and I even had the leftovers for lunch the next day. Because we were born with one hundred thousand nerve endings on our tongues, and I believe that’s one hundred thousand too many to subsist solely on bananas and whole milk.

But it’s not always easy. Shaking off the stranglehold of self-loathing like chicken wire pulled tight and tighter across your larynx because of the curve of cellulite over your belly never comes easy. Especially when it seems like the universe would suddenly move into harmony and angels would sing hosannas about your daily movements if only you were ten pounds lighter. So plunge into this quick-fix organic herbal liquid diet and you too can be the filling in the Brangelina sandwich. Lose enough weight, and you’ll be thin enough to slide through the cracks in your life and out the other side.

But the truth is, that whoever you are, the laundry list of things going wrong with you right now doesn’t go away until you tear it up and use it to light the funeral pyre of your own perfectionism. The easiest way to lose five pounds: lobotomy. And eating a slice of chocolate cake isn’t going to change your life either, if it’s not accompanied by the shocking revelation that you are enough. So go, and find your self-worth hidden somewhere amongst guilt and uncertainty, and swallow it, even though it sticks in your throat like the gears of an airplane engine. It might just be the best thing you’ve ever tasted.

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from: trialia
date: Jul. 3rd, 2007 08:30 pm (UTC)

Well, you already know I love this. It is so very real, and accurate, in what you're stating, even though you said that it's not based on anyone real except the Cessna guy.

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